


Control

by hopeless_romantic_spoonie, yespolkadot_kitty



Series: As You Are [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Disabled Reader, F/M, Fluff, Protective Loki, bit of angst, disabled, spoonie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 00:07:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20751029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeless_romantic_spoonie/pseuds/hopeless_romantic_spoonie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yespolkadot_kitty/pseuds/yespolkadot_kitty
Summary: Loki discovers medicine Spoons has been hiding from him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter wouldn't have happened without the lovely yespolkadot_kitty!

“It’s really not fair that you can eat so much junk and still be so ripped,” you muttered, settling in against Loki’s side as he sat back down on the couch beside you.

He held up a spoonful of ice cream for you, a wide smile on his face. “I do not see _you_ complaining about my physical fitness.”

Rolling your eyes, you took the ice cream anyway. It was sweet and cold on your tongue, the perfect treat to indulge in as you settled in to watch a movie with Loki. Grabbing the remote from him, you pushed the power button for the TV. Nothing. Pressing the button harder and harder didn’t seem to work either.

With a groan of frustration, you tilted your head back to Loki with your sweetest grin. “Could you grab a couple batteries from the kitchen? There should be some in the junk drawer. I’d do it, but…” you gestured to the comfortable nest you had constructed around yourself, “I’m not sure I can achieve such level of soft perfection again if I move.”

Handing you the bowl of ice cream, he shook his head and pressed a chilled kiss to your temple before rising gracefully and heading into the kitchen. “Wouldn’t want that, kitten.”

Several drawers opened and closed, and a pang of fear struck your heart when you heard various bits and bobs clattering around in one of them. 

You should have just got up. If only you'd remembered in time…

If you were lucky, he wouldn’t find them. Maybe if he did, he wouldn’t say anything. Maybe...

“What are these pills?”

On the other hand, maybe he was too curious for his own good and you were _toast_.

“Um…” you clammed up, wracking your brain for a plausible explanation for the medicine that he had found. You _had_ temporarily forgotten that they were in there, but it was too late now. What reasoning, if any, would placate him?

His sock-footed steps were still somehow deafening in your apartment as he came back into the living room, holding up the orange bottle to you with an arched brow. “What are these?” he repeated, his normally soft and tender voice - reserved specifically for you - gained a hard edge that sent a shiver down your spine.

Unable to meet his eyes, you stared at your wringing hands. You opened your mouth to give a stammering excuse, but he cut you off before you could even utter a sound.

“Do _not_ lie to me, kitten. Tell me what this medication is.”

You had heard that tone directed at others, powerful and brokering no argument. But aimed at you, it sank into your stomach, hanging there like a lead weight. Crossing your arms over yourself, you lifted your eyes to his chest, tracing the faint outline of his pectorals through the thin material of his white t-shirt. “Bruce and Tony ...made them for me.”

His voice was deadly calm when he said, “And what is their purpose?”

“They think that it might fix me. Slow down the degeneration, maybe help with my nerve damage,” you whispered, afraid to say it any louder, hoping maybe he wouldn’t hear the answer and magically drop the subject.

“You don’t _need_ fixing,” he ground out, the muscles in his arms flexing as he attempted to reign in his fury. He slammed the bottle of pills down onto the side table before striding toward the door. “I require a word with those imbeciles. Several, in fact.”

“Loki, wait!” You called out, stumbling to your feet, hissing in pain from the sudden movement pulling on the tense muscles of your back.

He was by your side in a flash, steadying you in the tangle of blankets at your feet. His touch was gentle, firm, as his large hands spread over your waist to hold you upright. You lifted your eyes to his, reading the conflicting concern and frustration warring on his elegant features. Your hands reached out to splay across his chest. His heart raced beneath your calming touch.

You tried for a smile, but even you knew it was more of a wince than anything. “Please, don’t be angry at them. They’re only trying to help.”

“Be that as it may, they are doing a poor job of it.” A heavy breath flared his nostrils, but his thumb stroked your side lightly. “Has this been tested? Do you know the side effects of the drug? Are you the only one taking it? Is this even safe for Midgardians?”

His concern was evident in his rapid-fire questions, in the crease in his brow and the hard set of his mouth. He was worried for you, well and truly, and warmth at the knowledge spread throughout your torso. He tugged you into his chest, holding you close in the safety of his arms. His large hand stroked over the back of your head softly before resting against the nape of your neck, firm, protective.

“You are not broken. You do not need _fixing_, as you so foolishly put it. You are exquisite, just as you are,” he soothed, voice slow and low as it rumbled against the top of your head. “If only you could see yourself as I do.”

How did Loki see you? How did _you_ see _him_? Wrapping your arms around his waist, you breathed him in, and the comforting scent of citrus and leather did more to ease your nerves than anything else. He was safe, he was caring and compassionate. 

He was _home_.

You tightened your arms around him at the thought. Home sounded so permanent, so intense and intimate. But the word rang true, felt right. Somehow, over the many nights he had spent at your side, he had carved a place for himself in your heart, burrowing inside it as someone you now knew you couldn’t live without. 

He was the first one you turned to with every bit of news. The one that you sought out when you were in pain and need of comfort or assistance. Just thinking about him brought a delighted smile to your face, and you almost physically _ached_ when you were apart. To say nothing of the crippling fear you harbored when he was off on a mission with the rest of the Avengers. What did all of that mean?

You mentally balked at the first word that came to mind: _love_. 

It was a terrifying word, representing giving yourself totally to someone else in the fervent hope that they could care for you in every way possible. Craning your head up to look at him, you studied his face thoughtfully. He was _yours_, he had been for some time, but now you finally realized that the affection that stirred within you whenever he was around wasn’t just one of passion or lust, or a simple, temporary girlish crush.

You loved him, the frustrating, wonderful, handsome, kind, snarky god, and there wasn’t any turning back from that revelation. Even if there were, you wouldn’t turn time backwards. You might be opening yourself up to a world of hurt, but with your disability, you were used to pain. After all, pain meant you were alive, and a life lived to the full meant love, and with it the potential for heartbreak. You wanted to fall in love with him fully, more than anything. To fill your heart with him and damn the consequences.

Storing those thoughts away to dissect later, you pushed onward with the conversation at hand, “I know that I don’t need fixing, but can you blame me for just wanting one iota of control over my body?”

His eyes darkened just a bit, a wolfish grin tugging at his lips as he pressed his hands into the small of your back. You felt the growing length of him against your belly, as he murmured against your hair, “In the absence of that, how would you feel about having control over my body, kitten?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki cedes control.

“Uh…..” Your mouth opened but no sound came out. You hid your face against his shoulder, suddenly shy.

Loki gently tipped up your chin with his index finger. “You’re not fond of the idea?”

“I’m  _ too _ fond of the idea,” you muttered into his hoodie. “Do you think you could, you know. Be a bit  _ less _ perfect?”

“If you wish.”

You leaned up to kiss him, savouring his taste, the press of his mouth against your own. “I don’t know what I wish. I don’t know what I want; I can’t  _ think _ straight when you’re around, Loki.”

He stroked a hand down your hair, his touch firm but gentle. “Perhaps you’ll allow me to present some options whilst you think on it. Option one: I submit to you completely, allowing you to tie me to your bed and have your way with me. You may dictate every move I make or do not make.” 

While you reeled from the incredible hotness of  _ that _ , he continued, “Option two: You allow me movement of my limbs, but your voice controls them. You tell me what to do and I shall be but your willing slave.” 

And it got hotter, you thought, dazed. “Ah… Option one,” you whispered, admitting out loud that the thought of tying him up made a thrill rush through you. The thought of lacing his wrists together. Of him submitting to you  _ completely, _ yours to command and yours to touch and lick and kiss….

Loki swung you up into his arms. “As my final act of agency, let me carry you to your bed, then.”

You let out a gasp as your feet left the ground. You still were not used to these little every day acts of romance that peppered your life since the Asgardian had come into it. If he were ever to depart-

You quelled that thought as Loki lay you gently on the bed, then slipped off his belt, offering it to you. "My restraints."

Wow. You were really doing this. You took the leather from him, and nodded. "I, ah guess you'll have to be naked first." When he stood still, you added, "Undress for me."

A slow smile curved his lips and he inclined his head and began to strip, taking his time over it. He shrugged out of his grey hoodie, letting it pool on the floor, then peeled the black t-shirt over his head. You watched from the bed, entranced, as his torso appeared, leanly muscled. He swallowed as he let the garment fall, and your gaze traced the hollow of his throat, the line of his back, the place where his hips narrowed into his jeans, bisected by an arrow of smoky hair. 

Your mouth watered. 

He popped the buttons on his jeans and pushed them down his legs. You watched eagerly as his thighs appeared. He divested himself of the denim and socks quickly and they joined the pile. His boxers were plain black, moulded to the curve of his erection.

"Off,” you whispered, getting into this.

"As my lady commands."

It was such an  _ Asgardian _ thing to say that you knew a brief bolt of jealousy for those who had gone before, but you forced it away. He was yours now, and now was all that mattered. 

He hooked his thumbs in the sides of the underwear and tugged it down his legs and you sat riveted. You couldn't look away from the heavy length of him, so aroused. For  _ you _ . The realisation still amazed you.

"On the bed," you said hoarsely, your gaze locked with his.

His green eyes danced with mischief and he moved to lay across your bed. Your eyes traced the supple line of his muscled torso as he stretched out.

"Hands."

Loki offered them, and you wound the belt around your slatted headboard, making a rudimentary knot. He would be able to escape with little effort, but you knew today wasn't about what he could or could not do; it was about ceding control to you. 

He looked picture perfect there, an invitation to sin. And you’d take that invitation with both hands and rip into it greedily.

Taking advantage of the energy you had, you straddled him.

“ _ You _ are fully clothed,” he noted.

You arched a brow, getting into your role. “I don’t believe I said you could speak.”

Loki chuckled, and surprise and then arousal paraded over his starkly handsome features. He inclined his head once, showing that he had heard you.

“That’s better,” you cooed, praising him, stroking your hands down the expanse of his leanly muscled chest, feeling the play of sinew and bone there, admiring his flat nipples and the width of his biceps, then slid yourself down his legs to rest on his thighs. His erection twitched as you lowered your gaze to it. While you had the energy…

Holding his gaze for a hot second, you licked him leisurely from root to tip, savouring the moan from his lips, loving that it was  _ you _ who coaxed that sound of half pain, half pleasure from him. That  _ you _ brought out this primal side of him, hungry, animalistic. Half mad with lust for  _ you. _

He continued to pant as you sucked him between your lips, laving him with your tongue, letting your other hand play and up and down his shaft. His thighs took your weight, so laying across him like this wasn’t too taxing. He smelled here, with traces of his usual citrus and bergamot scent. The smell was so familliar; just a whiff of his hoodie could have you feeling safe. Home.

You plowed your feelings into the lovemaking, and it was only moments until you had Loki bucking underneath you, his lean body coiling as he fought the urge to fuck into your mouth. He groaned out loud, and you felt his cock jerk against your tongue. He said your name in warning, but you wanted to do this for him while you had the energy. You licked the sensitive underside of the tip of him in ever decreasing circles until he came in a hot rush, a mix of salt and sweet, your name escaping his lips, the sound throaty and raw, like a fervent prayer.

Afterwards, you lay beside his naked body, released his bound hands, and stroked the hair back from his face. 

“I hadn’t meant to lose it…. Like that,” he admitted in a low voice.

That only made you more powerful. And closer to him. “You  _ did  _ say I would have control.”

He smiled a little, kissed your forehead, cuddling you close so your cheek rested on his warm, solid shoulder. “And so you did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series has been SO MUCH to write so far. I have a boisterous toddler so I haven't had the time to respond to individual comments , so, thank goodness, my boo Hopeless has that covered, but please know I appreciate every one of them so much. Thank you to all our readers. We had no idea this series would go beyond a few little drabbles!!


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